no one said it would be easy.

I feel like the last few days have been bombarded with one word:

mission.

Everyone and their dog is getting their call, farewells seem to be every Sunday, and lives are going separate ways.

I've grown up all my life being so proud of missionaries and what they do. It never used to bother me to hear the word.

And it still shouldn't.

But every time that word is said or someone posts about their call on facebook,

I get sick.

I never thought it would be so hard to see someone else so excited to serve. He's so excited and because of that, it just makes the whole thing worse. I know he's not excited to leave me, but of course that's what it seems like.

I'm trying to be positive--trying to support him and be excited for him too.

I know it's the right thing, I know, but it's hard to let your best friend go.

His call should come in the next few weeks.

I feel like at that point, there's going to be a wall between us.

I feel it coming.

And I'm scared.

Scared to go on without him--the one who's always by my side helping me through everything. The one who knows all about me and more. The one I love most.

Because of this, I'm starting to hate missions.

I know I shouldn't, but hey, who can help it when it's going to take your best friend?