music.

As most of you may know, music is my biggest passion. It's incredible how it can touch people's lives and that it can bring about such a wonderful feeling. Music has been known to calm me down after a long stressful day and it helps me cool off some steam. No matter what, I always come away from the piano feeling extremely happy. Without music, I don't know where I'd be. What friends I would have. If I would have ever met my best friend. I would have never had opportunities to play in such venues as the Provo and Salt Lake Tabernacle as well as in Abravanel Hall under prestigious conductors and with such talented musicians. Music has blessed my life so much and in ways I cannot express. It will always be a huge part of my life. No matter what.

Recently I've become rather obsessed with The Piano Guys. And any solo work by Jon Schmidt and Steven Sharp Nelson. Their music is just so happy and uplifting. And also so fun to play! Here's a couple (okay, a lot) of videos that I like of the two of them. It's incredible what they've done!

My child will learn to play the piano like this. No questions asked. :)

And Star Wars, of course.

This one was filmed by an orchestra that is local to me. They're incredible! And I even know a few people in it.

Oh and there's so many more. Go to their youtube page "The Piano Guys" and watch to your heart's content. Really. They are absolutely incredible.

I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music. - Billy Joel

Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. - Victor Hugo

dating.

3 words: I HATE IT.

I'm not entirely sure how to formulate my thoughts on the subject right now because I have so many opinions and emotions running through my head. It's difficult to organize what I want to say. But here goes nothing.

• Why, oh WHY do I only attract boys that are my height or shorter? I want to look UP to you, not feel like if I put on a 1 inch heel that I'll tower over you. Grow a foot, please, then come back.
• Actually, don't come back. None of you are cute anyway.
• I kind of want to wear a sign that flashes "I'm NOT flirting with you! I'm just a nice person who doesn't know how to flip the switch off!"
• I really don't like going on dates. In fact, I dread them. I also dread when I know the words "So, what are you doing on Friday?" are coming. I wish I could just disappear right then.
• How do I tell someone nicely that I don't like them? I'm a chicken. Last time I did it was over text. Shallow, I know. I wish I was more brave and less afraid of hurting someone.
• Can I wear another sign that says "I have a missionary, I do NOT want to talk to you." Please?
• Along those lines, I already have a best friend. I have someone who already loves me and whom I love. I find it rather pointless to go on dates when I already have that. Why try again? Start at ground zero? It took us two years to get to this point. I'd rather stick with what I have than go through all that time to make a new best friend.
• I wish that when I am sitting alone somewhere that I had a neon sign that says "Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you." But no, apparently my headphones and staring at the computer screen with a textbook and notebooks sitting next to me AND completely avoiding eye contact aren't enough.
• Sometimes I really hate the university I attend because everyone (all the girls) have to look so much prettier than me all the time. I feel like they get all the attention from the cute boys. I feel like I'd have an easier time liking someone and being willing to go on a date with them if they're cute. Guess I have to get them to look at me first.

I know this post may seem very pessimistic and unnecessary. I do have to say this: that I wouldn't mind dating. I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend because frankly, it sucks to have your best friend halfway across the world. I'll be the first one to admit I miss holding hands, cuddling and things like that. I'd like to find that again. But it seems rather impossible seeing as I've only been attracting short, unattractive nerds.

Does that sound completely wrong? Rude? Offensive? Maybe. But I really just needed to get that out.

I miss having all the things that dating and having a best friend brings. It seems like a daunting task to start all over with someone else when I know I have what other people spend forever looking for.

I think that's all I had to say. This may be updated, so check back to see if it is. Thanks for listening to me rant.

i'm a teacher: part 2

I don't really remember what sparked my desire to teach. I really don't. It has been my childhood dream, actually, but that slowly faded as I entered junior high. By that 7th grade I wanted to be a NICU nurse. By 9th grade it was a paramedic. By 10th grade I had no desire to do any of that. For a few years during high school I didn't have any clue what I wanted to pursue in college. It hit me my senior year.

I wanted to teach.

And I actually wanted to teach orchestra.

Once I got to BYU, that changed.

At some point, I guess my childhood dream resurfaced.

Today, I got my acceptance letter for the Elementary Education program at BYU. I cannot tell you how long I have been waiting for this. When I first turned it in, they said "Expect a response before Valentine's Day. If you don't, come in and see us."

Well, Valentine's Day rolled around. Nothing. Wednesday went by too. I decided to go in on Thursday to see what was up. "They're going out today." the secretary said.

Still nothing.

Then Friday came. I had been checking my email like 5 times an hour waiting for that dang email. Then all of a sudden, it shows up.

Along with an attached acceptance letter.

I cannot tell you how thrilled I was. I have never felt so sure about a decision in my life. This is what I'm supposed to do. I am supposed to teach. I am going to make an influence in kids' lives for the better. After reading the letter, I got chills. I grinned from ear to ear.

It happens, guys. That feeling is real even though I doubted many times. But you'll know it when you feel it.

I. CANNOT. WAIT.

a poem

Music, when soft voices die,

Vibrates in the memory

Odors, when sweet violets sicken,

Live within the sense they quicken.

Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,

Are heaped for the beloved's bed;And so thy thoughts, wen thou art gone,

Love itself shall slumber on.

To my musical friends as well as the ones who love love. This is for you.

i'm a teacher.

I know, I know. Most of you are thinking "Yes, we know this already. What are you going to say about it?" Well, just so you know, the fact that I'm a teacher became official the other day... Friday I think? Who knows. Anyways.

Trying to put a recital together is kind of tough. This year, with some inspiration, I decided to pick my students' songs for them and get them out early. I decided to do a "pops" concert complete with songs from the most famous composers (i.e. Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Brahms, Tchaikovsky, etc.) as well as pieces from our time (i.e. movie themes or hit songs). I'm really excited about it.
After finding each student a 'classical' piece, I began to freak out about what they could possibly play that was popular. I mean, I had plenty of books, but most of my students are level 2 and under with a few (like 3 or 4) exceptions. Also, they've been BEGGING me for specific songs from movies and such. I had no clue where to find them online (which is impossible...). With this dilemma facing me, I decided to venture off into the land of music.

aka Best in Music.

After finding what I wanted, I came up to the register. The lady said "Are you a teacher?" I proudly and happily said "Yes, I am!" She then proceeded to ask for my phone number. I gave it to her and she looked puzzled and said "Maybe we have you under a different number..." I thought for a second and said "I've never given you guys my number, so I'm not in there." She happily exclaimed "Oh, that's wonderful! Let's get you in the system so you can get discounts when you buy music for your students."
Say what?

Yes, you heard right. And I know that this may not be a big deal to pretty much all of you, but to me it is. I'm in a "teacher database" if you will and I get discounts! Wahoo!

Oh and a side note... I have a violin student who has been playing since last summer and she auditioned and made it into the advanced (highest) orchestra at her junior high school! Way to go Camille!!


Teaching pays off :)

Here's my loot! Complete with songs from Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Scooby Doo, Superman, and hit songs such from JBiebs, Michael Buble, Colbie Callait, Coldplay, Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, and various others. I'm quite excited and I know my students will be too!

goodbye

With a rather anticlimactic ringing in of the new year, I said goodbye to 2011. A huge part of me is upset and sad. 2011 was probably the best year of my life, despite one major thing. In 2011 I accomplished great things and made memories that mean everything to me and that I want to keep with me forever. I feel like a huge part of me has just been ripped away only to have a new year replace it. I had the greatest experiences this year. The most sad part about leaving 2011 is leaving behind my high school days and the friends that were there through it all. We're all going our separate ways, most likely not to see each other a whole lot in the future. But, although I may feel melancholy and upset that 2011 is gone, I know that 2012 will only bring me the freshest start anyone could ask for.

In 2011 I:
Played in the Utah All-State Orchestra in Abravanel Hall {January}
Played in a district honor choir/orchestra under the direction of Dr. Ryan Murphy, director of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir {January}
Went to my senior prom with my best friend in the best dress anyone could dream of {March}
Toured with my highschool orchestra to Disneyland where we took first place and I was asked to receive the award on the stage where the play Aladdin takes place {April}
Scored a 5 on the AP music test and a 4 on AP calculus {May}
Wrote my first 12 page paper {May}
Graduated American Fork High School {June} and said goodbye to the incredible memories and friends that I made there. I cannot even begin to describe the magnificent experience I had at that high school.
Traveled to the West Coast and stayed at the longest beach in the world {July}
My best friend received his mission call to the Belgium Brussels/Netherlands mission {August}
Started college at BYU {August}
Finished the entire Book of Mormon in 3 months {August-November}
Said "see ya later" to my best friend {November}
Completed my first semester of college with one A-, 2 B+'s, one B, and one C-. {December}
Celebrated my birthday and Christmas in the most chill way possible {December}

In 2012 I will:
Move out of my house
Make new friends
Go an entire year without seeing or being with my best friend
Become a junior in college
See my uncle and cousin from Germany for the first time in over 10 years and his new wife and baby for the first time ever
Travel to California with a friend
Celebrate my 20th birthday. 2 decades, baby!

Goals for 2012:
Go to New York City for New Year's
Take a picture every day
Document more
Write in my journal at least once a week
Read the Book of Mormon twice
Be more careful with what I say
Be less criticizing and more forgiving
Serve more
Let go of my pride
Practice my violin more
Attend the temple at least once a month
Write a letter a week
TRAVEL
Learn how to budget my money
Waste less time and study more
and BE HAPPY.

Happy New Year's, all. May 2012 bring you everything you could ever ask for. As for me, I'm ready to take it on.

i feel like i say it too much

But I love my best friend.
And I love letters.

Sorry if this gets annoying.

oh for cute.

Check this blog out. It will make your heart melt. They are sooo cute! And he's attractive and she's adorable. Oh man. The kind of life I want, right there.

Can't wait for my own fairytale :)

true love.

check it.

So, as you all know, I have a missionary! And some of you probably don't know too much about him and us, so check out a new page I made! It introduces him and us!

And look at the last picture first. It's the best :)

And if you want to get a glimpse of him and his personality, check this out too!

I spoke too soon!

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen:

Hey You :-)

I've been writing all week and will throw an epic letter in the mail tomorrow! Write me more! It's fun :-) I miss it! I'll hear from you soon!

Um, yes. This was in my INBOX. It's nothing really, but made me so flipping excited. I had written him twice (first and second days in the MTC) and I figured I would back off so as not to distract him. It was good to hear that he wanted me to write him :) Oh I love the kid!

him.

Yesterday, he got his suits. A few days ago he went through the temple.

Reality is hitting me. I'm losing my best friend for 2 whole years.

2 freaking years! That's such a long time.

We've been together for 2 years. We have two weeks left together. And then the next 2 years of our relationship will be spent apart.

I cannot tell you how scared I am.

But I came to a realization the other day... And it was a rather smack in the face.

For the longest time I had been complaining that he was leaving and I kept telling him I didn't want him to go and leave me behind.

I didn't want to support something that was going to separate us.

And I still don't. But I need to.

And for some reason, it's getting easier.

I mean, come on. LOOK AT HIM! Granted, he's making a silly face, but oh my gosh he's so attractive to me.

As soon as I saw this I burst out into tears because I was so proud of him and so excited for him to serve. I know he's excited beyond belief and I need to try to support him even though it's hard.

Seeing this picture made me sad, but also brought great comfort to me.

He's going to be serving the Lord.

The Lord will protect him in every aspect.

He will grow so much (and I'm hoping I can grow enough that he wants me when he gets back...) and have the greatest experiences that he won't receive anywhere else.

I'm happy for him.

Even though it's hard for me to say that, I need to.

He is my best friend. And I need to treat him like that.

I need to support him no matter what.

No matter how hard it will be for me and how much I will have to bite my tongue.

He loves me. And I love him.

And think about it: He serves the Lord for two years and then when he gets back, I get him for eternity. Eternity, people.

{if all works out like I would like it to. fingers crossed!!}

I love him.

the kid i can't stop thinking about.

Hiking Mt. Timpanogos, Summer 2011.

I love him with all my heart.

{please ignore the fact that this was around 7:30 in the am after hiking since 1:00 earlier that morning. We were dirty, exhausted, and well, pretty much dead. But it was so fun.}

I'm a graduate.

I honestly thought this day would never come. I've always dreamed of graduating high school and being done with public education. It was a dream that finally became a reality last night as my name was read, I walked out on the floor, shook hands, and received my *diploma.

Changing the tassels was when it hit me. We all stood. We changed them. We were then graduates.

Looking back, I remember looking up to the seniors and thinking they were so old. I never thought I'd be in their position and still can't believe that I am.

I've graduated high school. But more importantly, I've graduated from American Fork High School, home of the Cavemen. I will be forever proud to be a Caveman. I couldn't have graduated from a better school.

So many memories were made there. I cried there. I laughed there. I stressed there. I sweated there. I played my violin there. I made friends there.

These past three years have screeched by and I know it won't slow down any time soon. I am excited to see what the future holds for me. And I'm glad that my foundation is AFHS.

PROUD TO BE A CAVEMAN.