him.

Yesterday, he got his suits. A few days ago he went through the temple.

Reality is hitting me. I'm losing my best friend for 2 whole years.

2 freaking years! That's such a long time.

We've been together for 2 years. We have two weeks left together. And then the next 2 years of our relationship will be spent apart.

I cannot tell you how scared I am.

But I came to a realization the other day... And it was a rather smack in the face.

For the longest time I had been complaining that he was leaving and I kept telling him I didn't want him to go and leave me behind.

I didn't want to support something that was going to separate us.

And I still don't. But I need to.

And for some reason, it's getting easier.

I mean, come on. LOOK AT HIM! Granted, he's making a silly face, but oh my gosh he's so attractive to me.

As soon as I saw this I burst out into tears because I was so proud of him and so excited for him to serve. I know he's excited beyond belief and I need to try to support him even though it's hard.

Seeing this picture made me sad, but also brought great comfort to me.

He's going to be serving the Lord.

The Lord will protect him in every aspect.

He will grow so much (and I'm hoping I can grow enough that he wants me when he gets back...) and have the greatest experiences that he won't receive anywhere else.

I'm happy for him.

Even though it's hard for me to say that, I need to.

He is my best friend. And I need to treat him like that.

I need to support him no matter what.

No matter how hard it will be for me and how much I will have to bite my tongue.

He loves me. And I love him.

And think about it: He serves the Lord for two years and then when he gets back, I get him for eternity. Eternity, people.

{if all works out like I would like it to. fingers crossed!!}

I love him.

no one said it would be easy.

I feel like the last few days have been bombarded with one word:

mission.

Everyone and their dog is getting their call, farewells seem to be every Sunday, and lives are going separate ways.

I've grown up all my life being so proud of missionaries and what they do. It never used to bother me to hear the word.

And it still shouldn't.

But every time that word is said or someone posts about their call on facebook,

I get sick.

I never thought it would be so hard to see someone else so excited to serve. He's so excited and because of that, it just makes the whole thing worse. I know he's not excited to leave me, but of course that's what it seems like.

I'm trying to be positive--trying to support him and be excited for him too.

I know it's the right thing, I know, but it's hard to let your best friend go.

His call should come in the next few weeks.

I feel like at that point, there's going to be a wall between us.

I feel it coming.

And I'm scared.

Scared to go on without him--the one who's always by my side helping me through everything. The one who knows all about me and more. The one I love most.

Because of this, I'm starting to hate missions.

I know I shouldn't, but hey, who can help it when it's going to take your best friend?